Looking Forward to Change

Change is a funny thing.  All of the emotions you experience while you anticipate a change make for anxiety, nervousness, excitement, doubt, and any other feeling under the sun that you could possibly think of.  For me, I embrace change.  I love it actually.  I get bored very easy, so if I don't have some change every now and then, I become very....blah.

So, I know what you're thinking.  Colleen...you have a full time job, you have three kids, a boyfriend, a family, friends!  How can your life ever be "consistent"!  Well, you are kind of right there.  Sure, things change from day to day - who's being the disruptive kid, who wants to have fun, what activities we have to do, etc.  But it is still the same thing everyday, all day.  Wake up, make breakfast, send kids to school, go to work, come home from work, pick kids up from school, do homework, make dinner, go to a game or practice, come home, feed children, send them to the shower, put them in bed, go to bed.  Repeat.  The monotony.  It's agonizing!

Not only is the repetitiveness like an enclosed grave on Earth, doing it alone just flat out sucks.  Tommy is working overtime, or out of town, or having to stay home with the girls while I take Austyn to practice or whatever the story may be for the day.  We are never together.  We hardly get to see each other, and when we do, its pretty much in passing on the way out the door to work or on the way into snooze land.  God bless the strength we've been given to remain exasperatingly in love during a time like this, but it really is an empty feeling when you have no one to share your life with...no matter how boring it may be.

Change is on the horizon though, and I could not be more than ecstatic for it to arrive.  Tommy is expected to be home, on time, everyday, beginning next week (hopefully for an extended period of time!).  I can not wait to have him there to help me from losing my mind...or patience (which let's just be honest here, I was not blessed in that department, so there is very little of it to begin with!).  I am so excited for the change of coming home and rambling about nonsense from my day with an adult, having help getting the kids taken care of, and most importantly, just getting to spend some time with the person that I do all of this for.  So, here's to hoping the blah is soon replaced by giggles and laughter; after all that really is the best medicine.

A moment of thanks

I gotta give a little credit to the man of the house (And no, it's not Austyn, no matter how hard he tries to make it be that way).  Tommy has been pushing anywhere from 75-80 hours a week.  I was thinking maybe he went bat crazy living in a household with four other people (three of them miniature, and very demanding) and just wanted to be out of the house!  But, it turns out, the reason is more because he is thinking ahead and building a solid cushion in the event anything should happen.  Forward thinking.  I like it. 

The problem with working so much like that is when you are home; you are practically in a vegetable state.  So, here's where another shout-out comes in to my man.  T was completely undomesticated when I met him.  Cooking was out of the question.  He learned how to do laundry about a week before we met.  And anything related to handy-man was simply a foreign language to him.  T called me Monday and said, "What's the plan for today?"  I said, "Well, same as every other school day - pickup kids, homework for a gazillion years, then dinner, shower, and bed."  His response?  "So, what should I do?". You know you've been out of the picture quite a bit if you have to ask what you are supposed to do while at home!  Before I could respond, he suggested cooking dinner.  He's been grilling  since the start of summer (another thing picked up in the course of our relationship), but surprisingly wanted to try something different because he can only do so much on the grill...and it can get tiring. 

So, I said, sure!  Why not?  It would definitely help me out a little.  So, we start discussing options on what he could do.  I suggest sloppy joes, spaghetti-o's, picking up a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from kroger and shredding it for chicken tacos.  He says, "Wait.  Don't you think I am ready to graduate to something a little more complicated?"  Oh geez.  My mind starts going crazy thinking about how much more work I'm going to have to do because I'm going to be teaching three kids and trying to teach him how to cook at the same time.  I nearly have a panic attack because I'm scared of what the night is going to bring!  I swallow any negative thoughts and simply respond, "Sure, babe.  Whatever you want to do."  So, as I'm working with the kids, here he is, fresh home from the store, prepping dinner.  A bit later, we are sitting down to a dinner of fettuccine alfredo with grilled chicken and garlic bread.  Yea, I know what you are thinking.  He just jumped right on in, didn't he?  Well, his motto is, Go Big or Go Home.  And that's just what he did - went big, of course.

So, I have to say, sometimes when I think that I am all alone and have no one to help me out, T is really helping in many more ways than I can count.  He's mostly making us a big fat nest egg, but when he's not incubating that, he is picking up other duties so that they don't fall all on one person.  So, big kudos to the man of the house for stepping up, stepping in, and making things happen.  Great partner.  Great Daddy.

A parent; as a teacher

School has been in session for one month now.  It seems like forever longer, but it has really only been a few short weeks.  My little coconuts are in Kinder and Second.  Unfortunately, due to the lack of care of education by her mother, poor J had to repeat second grade.  All summer, I have been thinking of how I can speed up the last year of learning for her and get her on the right track.  When school started, I noticed that there would be an additional problem added to the table.  Em is probably about a year behind schedule academically.  Heartbreaking.

I spent the first two weeks watching them learn.  I've been studying the way they process the material when it is given to them and what kind of responses from me heighten their self esteem instead of lessening it.  It was pretty rough and rocky at first.  The feeling of incompetence and defeat these poor babies have is unimaginable for a child these ages.  I decided that instead of angering myself for the lack of better judgement from their mom, I would completely disregard her altogether and put MY best foot forward.  The past can't be changed, but the future certainly can!

I spend anywhere from 1-2 hours on homework per night with the kids; depending on what the work is for the week and how I think they are coping with classwork.  In the last three weeks I have been dedicating this time, I have started to see improvement in all of their work.  Em went from recognizing maybe 5 words out of the alphabet to about 10 now.  Jordan is learning strategies for math that allow her to understand the questions and come up with the right answers.  Austyn is learning study habits for social studies that he and J can quiz each other with to help the information stick.

Though we still have a long road ahead of us, it is very satisfactory to see that the time put in will pay off.  As an even sweeter gift, I can see how much the kids appreciate spending the time with me - even if it is to do stinky 'ole boring homework.  Last night after doing two sets of flashcards with Em, she looked at me and said, "I love you.  Can I give you a hug?".    About melted my heart.  The smallest things and efforts in a child's eyes are as big as the sky, and I am so happy that I am the one who gets to make the world a happier place for all three of my babies.

Becoming a Tribe

As you may well know, my amazing boyfriend and I have recently gained full custody of his two girls.  What was three then became five.  I love my little tribe.  I have three babies who when one hates me, another loves me, when one ignores me, another gives me their undivided attention, when one will not clean, another will help.  At first, I was Scared. To. Death.  I admit, I am selfish at times.  I like to relax.  I have shows I love to watch.  My favorite thing to do is curl up next to my honey while he plays COD and read my Nook.  With one kiddo, it is easy to make time for yourself.  Three?  Not so much.

The first couple weeks were trying.  Everyone wanted to buck the system.  Austyn missed all of his attention being a single child.  The girls had no idea what a rule or routine was.  Daddy just wanted to sit on the porch grilling, drinking his beer, and listening to music.  Mommy just wanted sleep...and quiet...lots of quiet!  A month and a half in, and we are finally starting to become a unit.  This makes me happy.  Austyn loves being a brother (its all he ever wanted), and helping out in the morning brushing his little sister's hair before school.  Jordan loves to be the oldest who gets more privileges just because she can.  And the baby, Emily, she just loves being doted on and taken care of by not only her sister, but now her brother, daddy, and me too.

I can't believe that me, person who wasn't even sure she wanted ONE child, now has three.  I must say, it is kind of a calling.  I am surprising myself minute by minute at how easily I've picked up the tasks of getting three children ready for school in the morning; making breakfasts, working all day, coming home to hours of homework, cooking, cleaning, and finally bedtime story time.  I've got my groove.  Loving that!  So, now, not so scared.  I know that the cards that have been dealt were meant to be my hand all along; I just didn't know it.  And as time goes by and kinks get worked out of the routine, it will be easy to find that "me" time that is actually not so selfish after all.  Because, if Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy!  And right now, my tribe has one happy lil coconut leader :)

Blogilicious

So, as life has so dutifully continued to hand me lemons, I am off trying to make some lemonade!  I've decided that with all of the changes that have come into my life in the past year or so, I should start up that blog that everyone's been pestering me about.  Bless you, writing Gods! 

At The Happy Coconut, you will find my quirky optimistic view in a VERY chaotic life.  So, stay tuned....and ENJOY!