A parent; as a teacher

School has been in session for one month now.  It seems like forever longer, but it has really only been a few short weeks.  My little coconuts are in Kinder and Second.  Unfortunately, due to the lack of care of education by her mother, poor J had to repeat second grade.  All summer, I have been thinking of how I can speed up the last year of learning for her and get her on the right track.  When school started, I noticed that there would be an additional problem added to the table.  Em is probably about a year behind schedule academically.  Heartbreaking.

I spent the first two weeks watching them learn.  I've been studying the way they process the material when it is given to them and what kind of responses from me heighten their self esteem instead of lessening it.  It was pretty rough and rocky at first.  The feeling of incompetence and defeat these poor babies have is unimaginable for a child these ages.  I decided that instead of angering myself for the lack of better judgement from their mom, I would completely disregard her altogether and put MY best foot forward.  The past can't be changed, but the future certainly can!

I spend anywhere from 1-2 hours on homework per night with the kids; depending on what the work is for the week and how I think they are coping with classwork.  In the last three weeks I have been dedicating this time, I have started to see improvement in all of their work.  Em went from recognizing maybe 5 words out of the alphabet to about 10 now.  Jordan is learning strategies for math that allow her to understand the questions and come up with the right answers.  Austyn is learning study habits for social studies that he and J can quiz each other with to help the information stick.

Though we still have a long road ahead of us, it is very satisfactory to see that the time put in will pay off.  As an even sweeter gift, I can see how much the kids appreciate spending the time with me - even if it is to do stinky 'ole boring homework.  Last night after doing two sets of flashcards with Em, she looked at me and said, "I love you.  Can I give you a hug?".    About melted my heart.  The smallest things and efforts in a child's eyes are as big as the sky, and I am so happy that I am the one who gets to make the world a happier place for all three of my babies.

Becoming a Tribe

As you may well know, my amazing boyfriend and I have recently gained full custody of his two girls.  What was three then became five.  I love my little tribe.  I have three babies who when one hates me, another loves me, when one ignores me, another gives me their undivided attention, when one will not clean, another will help.  At first, I was Scared. To. Death.  I admit, I am selfish at times.  I like to relax.  I have shows I love to watch.  My favorite thing to do is curl up next to my honey while he plays COD and read my Nook.  With one kiddo, it is easy to make time for yourself.  Three?  Not so much.

The first couple weeks were trying.  Everyone wanted to buck the system.  Austyn missed all of his attention being a single child.  The girls had no idea what a rule or routine was.  Daddy just wanted to sit on the porch grilling, drinking his beer, and listening to music.  Mommy just wanted sleep...and quiet...lots of quiet!  A month and a half in, and we are finally starting to become a unit.  This makes me happy.  Austyn loves being a brother (its all he ever wanted), and helping out in the morning brushing his little sister's hair before school.  Jordan loves to be the oldest who gets more privileges just because she can.  And the baby, Emily, she just loves being doted on and taken care of by not only her sister, but now her brother, daddy, and me too.

I can't believe that me, person who wasn't even sure she wanted ONE child, now has three.  I must say, it is kind of a calling.  I am surprising myself minute by minute at how easily I've picked up the tasks of getting three children ready for school in the morning; making breakfasts, working all day, coming home to hours of homework, cooking, cleaning, and finally bedtime story time.  I've got my groove.  Loving that!  So, now, not so scared.  I know that the cards that have been dealt were meant to be my hand all along; I just didn't know it.  And as time goes by and kinks get worked out of the routine, it will be easy to find that "me" time that is actually not so selfish after all.  Because, if Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy!  And right now, my tribe has one happy lil coconut leader :)

Blogilicious

So, as life has so dutifully continued to hand me lemons, I am off trying to make some lemonade!  I've decided that with all of the changes that have come into my life in the past year or so, I should start up that blog that everyone's been pestering me about.  Bless you, writing Gods! 

At The Happy Coconut, you will find my quirky optimistic view in a VERY chaotic life.  So, stay tuned....and ENJOY!