The week after Easter, I learned that a friend of mine received a terminal diagnosis for his first born little girl and that she was not expected to live very long; the doctors gave an 18 month window. The short of it is that Avery was diagnosed with SMA at 5 months old and passed away a month later after suffering from cardiac arrest. I followed this story from the start; via blog (you can read the full story here, Avery's Bucket List), news, Facebook updates from my friend and his friends, etc. It was so touching to me that Mike and his wife Laura had found out their baby was going to die, and instead of wasting away in tragedy, they stood tall and gave Avery the best life she could ever have while she still had one and showed her how much they loved her. Seeing their story made me really start to focus on on my own children and how I raise them.
Raising three kids and having a father who works late hours or out of town can be a very hard chore for a mom. I've had a year's practice under my belt, but all my sunshine and smiles had faded away. I'm tired. I'm annoyed. The house is never clean. The laundry is never done. I don't want to cook. I don't want to do dishes. I work 50 hours a week and I do not want to come home and fight three kids who had a bad day and take their frustrations out on me...or each other. (Of course, we all do that though, don't we. Why do we take things out on the people we love? Ironic, isn't it?). I was in a pretty down in the dumps spot. It's not that I don't want the life I have, and its not that I don't love and enjoy my children; its just that everyday when I wake up, I know that I have a very long day ahead of me and the only time I will have to myself is the two minutes after I've put my head on the pillow before I fall asleep....literally, crash and burn.
This story of Avery has changed my perception on life. Tears came to my eyes a couple weeks ago because I was driving down the road, looked out the passenger window and vaguely read "I love you mom". Two mornings previous, I had yelled at Austyn for drawing all over the dew misted car because I can't see very well through dried dirty windows with pictures drawn all over them (shut up, I know I should wash my car more!). He wanted me to think of him; that's all; and there I was yelling at him first thing in the morning on the way to school. It's things like this that happen all the time in my household. The adults are so worried about keeping the kids in check that we are sometimes taking for granted the very reasons that should be bringing smiles to our faces daily.
After following Avery's story so closely, I have learned how to become a better parent. When my babies want to do something that is only going to happen once, I am all for it. Who knows if they will ever be given that chance again? When I want to crawl in a hole and hide, but they want me to play a game or read, I'll do it. Because who knows if I will ever get that time with them again. My kids love me and they think that I'm the sweetest and most loving (I have letters from them to prove this!), and I do not ever want them to change their perception of me. I want to be their mom, their best friend, their adviser, their disciplinarian, the one they cry to, the one they argue with (just to see they'll lose!), and everything else that they would ever ask me to be for them. That is why I am here, that is why I am a parent.
In closing, I want to send Mike and Laura a very blessed thank you for what you have taught me. I don't know what it was like to be in your shoes, but I do know that you had more strength than I think I could ever have. The love you showed for each other as well as your baby helps me to realize daily that the most important thing in life is the thing we take for granted because it is such constant in our lives. I never want to take my family for granted; I know without them I would be nothing.
